Long distance relationships are hard, and if you’ve ever been in one – you know that even that sentence is an understatement. Being in a normal relationship requires you to make room for a significant other in your day, being in a long distance relationship on the other hand, requires you to flip your whole life around. But again, if you’ve ever been in one, you know that they’re so extremely rewarding.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for almost four years. Yes, there were a few breaks involved, and no, not all of it has been distance so far. Dylan and I had the amazing opportunity to live together for four months last summer, which was a dream come true. Aside from that it’s been a few visits here and there, and endless FaceTime dates. You see, we currently live 4185 miles away from each other, but we’re planning on closing the distance as soon as we can.
1. Trust, Honesty, Commitment
The holy trinity, if you will. Both you and your partner have to be completely honest at all times, committed and dedicated to making your relationship work, and most importantly, you have to trust each other. It takes a while to build up trust, but lucky for you, time is something you have plenty of when you’re in a long distance relationship. Doubts will only drive you crazy, and push your partner far, far away from you.
Fights and conflicts are a normal part of any relationship, and long distance relationships are no exception. The only issue is that you can’t kiss and make up, you have to talk through literally everything. Communication is key when it comes to preventing big blow ups, as well as working through them. Know your wants and needs, and make sure to clearly communicate them to your partner. On the other hand, be accommodating when your partner approaches you with a need or complaint.
3. Dating (FaceTime, Skype, etc)
Just because you’re a billion miles away from your loved one, doesn’t mean that you aren’t dating. FaceTime has been a life-saver for my relationship. While we can’t snuggle up and watch a movie, we do get to come home to each other, talk about our days, and laugh about whatever is amusing us at the moment. Due to work and a six hour time difference, we only get about three days of FaceTime a week, but even that’s enough to keep the romance alive.
Similarly, we text every day, throughout the day. Good morning and goodnight texts are a given, but random selfies from time to time are the sweetest. Make your partner feel loved, wanted, and missed. It’ll strengthen your relationship more than you’ll ever know.
5. Talk about the future
The thing about being so far away, is that conversations tend to be more meaningful than “what’s up?”. Let your imagination run wild, and dream up an incredible future with your loved one. A cabin in the woods, freshly baked bread, a co-owned company, a little family-run coffee shop. Dreams begin by actually dreaming, and Dylan and I have discovered things we never even knew we wanted to do. Don’t be scared to get a little silly, it’s the best thing you can do in a long distance relationship.
There is nothing worse than not knowing when you’ll see each other next. If you are able to, book tickets and count down the days until you can put your phone away for more than an hour at a time. There is nothing sweeter than waking up one day and knowing that you’re about to pick up your loved one from the airport, or run into their arms as they wait for you. If you can’t make plans right now, just be patient, it’ll work out.
7. Embrace “me time”
It probably seems like “me time” is the last thing you need right now, but somewhere down the line you’ll realize that this distance has made you stronger, more independent, and heaps more romantic. Just make sure you don’t take life too seriously.
Do you have any experience with long distance relationships? Is this a topic you’d like me to post more about? Let me know down in the comments!